Gold credit cards, platinum credit cards, diamond credit cards, the list goes on and on. Have you ever wondered why credit card companies use metals from the periodic table of elements to describe their cards? Are they chemists, or bankers? Let’s take a look at the connection between credit and metal and then be sure to check out our slick tool to compare credit cards from all across the periodic table of elements!
Actual Cost: $1,200/ounce
Annual Fee: $125/year
When credit card marketers want to make you feel classy, this is the standard — the gold standard. There’s nothing like pulling out a shiny card that looks like it was cut straight from Fort Knox. That’s the way rich people charge: Put it on the ol’ gold card!
Probably the most famous gold card is from American Express, but there are others that offer gold cards as well. The great thing about gold cards is that you usually get more perks for your annual fee than other metals.
Strangely enough, gold is actually the most malleable metal there is, which means you can beat it into a pulp if you wish. That’s probably why so many people max out their gold card – it’s flexible!
Actual Cost: $1,539/ounce
Annual Fee: $175/year
When they decided a gold card wasn’t enough, credit card marketers had to turn to an even more precious metal: Platinum. Setting the standard even higher than gold, platinum cards generally offer customers plush concierge benefits, and a pretty cool-looking card.
The periodic element Platinum is actually made up of a group of metals. They include ruthenium, rhodium, palladium, osmium, and iridium in addition to platinum; they are known as a silvery white metal which makes them perfect for credit cards. Be on the lookout for the Visa Iridium; it can’t be far behind.
Annual Fee: FREE
Still rare in the credit card marketing world, the Diamond is a gem highly prized by brides and gangsta rappers. Visa offers a prepaid card known as the Black Diamond RushCard, whereby you can load up the card from your payroll or other source of income. Essentially a debit card, we think the marketing execs at Visa were a little confused when they named this one.
They did name it a Black Diamond, and since diamonds are actually made out of compressed carbon, maybe that’s what they really meant. You’ve got to admit, the “Visa Carbon” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Actual Cost: $.06/ounce
Annual Fee: $25/year
Seeing as how American Express enjoys using metals to market their cards, Zinc would be an obvious choice. But since they are aiming this card toward illiterate teenagers, they misspelled the name of the Amex Zync. R they crzy?
The Zync is a card that you pay in full each month, with only a $25 annual fee—perfect for a new credit card user. And Zinc (the metal) is known to be useful for plating, where thin layers are put onto iron or steel in a process called galvanizing, which protects from corrosion. So, if you are planning on getting a Zync card from American Express, make sure you let them know that you’re only signing up for this card because it’s not going to rust.
Hey, Credit Card Marketers – We’ve Got Some Ideas
Look, if you’re going to use element names for your credit cards, why not be a bit more creative? There are 109 periodic elements, you know! One hundred and nine. You’re not nearly maximizing your potential here. We’ve put together a short list of future credit cards that we imagine will soon be coming to a wallet near you.
Annual Fee: $5,000/year
Who doesn’t like a little Boron? This is known as a borderline metal non-metal. We think it’s borderline awesome. Although the price of a boron cleaner like Borax is very cheap, the price of pure boron is ridiculously expensive, letting the credit card marketers charge an outrageous annual fee. The perk is, it would come with its own live-in housekeeper. What’s more of a non boring credit card than a boron credit card?
Annual Fee: $100,000/year
Who doesn’t want their own Krypton Kard? Krypton is a cheap, colorless, odorless gas that is present in our air at one part per million, but nobody knows that. Everyone thinks if you come from the planet Krypton, you have superpowers. Such as the power to spend massive amounts of dough on your card, which is pretty powerful. Who wouldn’t want to be able to show off their super spending powers with a superpowered Krypton credit card?
Annual Fee: $1,000,000,000/year
Scientists working in nuclear reactors have produced just one atom of this exceedingly rare element in the spring of 2002, and two more atoms in the spring of 2005. At that rate, this element is priceless — and not the MasterCard kind of priceless, but actually priceless. This card should reflect that, with an annual fee of one billion dollars, which earns you command of a small country each year.
Ununoctium is the new black (credit card). Who would ever be impressed by a Black Card again once they have seen someone slap down an “Unobtainable” Ununoctium credit card to pay for a meal?
Don’t Hold Your Breath for These Future Credit Cards
If you are planning on waiting for a Krypton credit card offer to come down the pike before you apply for a credit card then you may be waiting quite a while. Read through our credit card reviews and then check out our free tool to compare credit cards that are available NOW!